The Receptionist
Ringo Starr
Ringo picks up while you're in a roof cavity. He knows who's calling before they say a word, he knows whether you go to that suburb, he can see your actual calendar, and he books the job in it. When he can't help, he takes a message with the details you'd have asked for yourself — and it's on your phone before they've hung up.
The full list · 23 things
Everything Ringo can do.
Not a feature list from a brochure — every line here is something the live Ringo already does on a real business.
On the phone
06Answers every inbound call, first ring, day or night
No hold music, no voicemail, no missed job.
Knows who's calling before they speak
Matches the number against your customers and pulls up their history.
Doesn't make an existing customer repeat themselves
"You're at 14 Piper Street — is it the same board?"
Talks like a person, in the voice and accent you pick
Aussie, British, American — whatever suits your business.
Tells them straight that he's not a person if they ask
Hard rule. He never claims to be human.
Handles the ones who ramble, mumble or ring from a noisy site
Qualifying the job
05Checks the job is in your service area
Suburb list, exclusions and distance from base — he never guesses.
Works out what kind of work it is
New lead, existing job, fault, warranty, supplier, sales call.
Spots an emergency and escalates it to you immediately
Screens out the junk
Marketing calls don't become notifications.
Checks whether the right person is even available today
Booking work in
08Reads your real calendar for genuinely free slots
Sizes up how urgent a fault is from the caller's own words
Water through the ceiling is today. A dripping tap is next week. Booked to match, for your trade.
Offers times near where the van already is
Not just "first available" — the gap that keeps the run tight and the driving down.
Books the appointment and sends the confirmation
Escalates a genuine emergency to you the moment it's booked
Moves a booking when the customer rings to change it
Finds it from "the appointment for the powerpoint", rebooks it, and tells everyone involved.
Books a callback from you when the caller wants a person
Creates the contact record for a first-time caller
When he can't help
04Takes a proper message: name, number, address, what they need, how urgent
Sends it to you the second the call ends
Email, SMS or Telegram — your pick.
Logs it on the customer's timeline so nothing lives only in your head
Never promises something he hasn't already done
Built-in rule: no "I'll get that sorted" unless it's sorted.
What you'd say to him
- You“Hi, I need a quote for a switchboard upgrade.”
- You“Do you blokes come out to Woodend?”
- You“My hot water's gone, how soon can someone come?”
- You“Can I book someone in for Thursday morning?”
Plain English. No commands, no menus, no “press 1 for accounts”.
What he won't do
- Quote a price he hasn't been given — he'll take the details and hand it to Johnny
- Pretend to be you or another staff member
- Book outside the hours and rules you set
Limits are the point. A crewmate that'll do anything is a crewmate that'll do the wrong thing.
Where it all shows up
What Ringo puts on your board.
- Every call with who rang, what about and what happened
- New enquiries sitting in Tasks waiting on your say-so
- Bookings on the job calendar
- New contacts, with the call attached to their history
Crewmates
Tasks
Everything the crew needs a decision on
Waiting on your say-so
Invoice INV-0901 · S. Ferguson — $2,480
Johnny priced 6.5h labour + materials off your list. Ready to send.
Post: “Battery install finished in Kyneton”
3 photos from that job · Facebook, Instagram, Google
Came in overnight
Missed-call message · 0491 57• ••• · 11:42pm
“No power to half the house.” Ringo flagged it urgent and told them you'd ring first thing.
Purchase order · Coil, drain, brackets — $412
Cathy split it across two suppliers.
Take a few hats off.
Here's the whole deal: $69 a week for the crew, billed monthly. Tell us how your business works — by voice or by form — connect your tools, switch them on. Most blokes start with Ringo; the rest are already included when you're ready.